Thursday, June 12, 2008

8th grade promotion & why Jacob is bummed


Look at that sad pouty face. Very unusual to see that face on Jacob when we are out to eat at one of his favorite restaurants. (I can't believe that my kids even have favorite restaurants, so spoiled). Anyway, what( you may ask) does Jacob have to be sad about? I'll tell you what. He is the only eighth grade kid that didn't get a cell phone for promotion (if they didn't already have one of course). Isn't that crazy? I don't even know where to begin on the whole cell phone subject. It is just one more way in which kids can tune out what is going on around them and really living. Why give them one more thing that is a temptation, and that they have to use good judgement to control. I totally understand Jacob's feelings. It can be hard to be the only one at anything, but I hope he gets our reasoning deep down. I do think there are good reasons for some kids to have a cell phone at his age. Unfortunately, none apply to him. He doesn't like to talk on the phone, he is always with me, or I know exactly where he is. He doesn't drive or work. He lives with both of his parents. So there just aren't any reasons to justify the down side of having a phone. For example, it costs money. It can be a temptation to text at inappropriate (my family says inappropriate is my favorite word) times. For example during school and church. Bad things can be sent to his phone. My friend was telling me how a girl sent a picture of herself without clothing on to a couple of boys. As you can imagine, that was sent to everyone in the school really quick. I could go on and on. I just feel that our kids are already up against so much, why add to it. Yes, they need to be strong and be able to make good choices, and we do teach him what is right. But that doesn't mean that we give him easy access to pornography, alcohol, drugs etc. and say that he needs to be able to make good choices. We are human, and so many adults can't even have self restraint. Teenagers already have a life full of more and more responsibility that they are having to deal with. Growing up is hard. Learning who you are, and making decisions for their future, struggling with self confidence, and self esteem. I am so rambling. But I am from the school of thought that you teach your kids to do what is right and enforce it. They need all the help they can get. Kids need and want boundaries. It makes them feel safe. That is why it is harder as they get older. They need to take on more and more personal responsibility for making those boundaries and choices on their own, and that can be really tough. I wish sometimes that someone was making me go to bed on time every night so I will be well rested. Or making me eat healthy and exercise. It is hard to have discipline. If we can't do it, how can we expect our children to have the discipline to make all the right decisions. Crazy if you ask me. That is like putting a cookie jar in front of a two year old and telling him not to take any cookies, and than being surprised when they do. Or thinking they are naughty if they do. So that is why Jacob doesn't have a cell phone, or at least I am not providing one for him. If he wants to earn the money and pay for it that is fine with me. That means he feels he really needs it. But of course he doesn't want to do that. So he really is a teenager. But don't worry, his sadness only lasted until the pizza came out.

11 comments:

Amie said...

amen, sistah!

OneHappyfamily said...

I hear it from my son too, "everybody has one!" My son is with me all the time or I know where he is. He is not out running around with friends. He is going into 7th grade and he will be reading this post, when he wakes up at noon today! Great post.

Julie said...

Can I please send my 9 year old over to be raised at your house? I tried to tell him all of this when he asked for a cell phone (CRAZY). Your explanation sounded much better than mine! I may need to "steal" some of yours. :-)

cbo said...

Glad to know we are on the same page with the cell phone issue! Our kids also don't have them, but I have loaned mine to them a couple of times--once I forgot to turn the ringer off when Ailee had it at a nation junior honor society ceremony--oops! She got hauled into the VP's office over that one!

ali said...

I wholeheartedly agree. And yikes!! I am not equipped to handle situations like girls sending naked pictures of themselves to my son--maybe when he gets older we'll move and become home schooled hermits :)

Casey Lu said...

I totally agree!!! I have explained that to my 9 yr old, about a cell phone, why they don't have each and every gaming system out there, as well as an iPod. Glad I am not alone in this thinking!!!

Anonymous said...

I hear it from my two oldest all the time. I was beginning to think that we were the only ones that didn't buy their children cell phones.

Amy

Anonymous said...

I see all your points. Here are few positive points. Text message from my 14 year old in the middle of the day that reads: I miss you. Reading her texts from her Dad. I love that they can chat/text any time of day, even though we all live under the same roof. text mess.from her YW leaders. I randomly read her text whenever I want... she knows that the cell phone is MY property not hers, it is for MY convinence because she is away from home after schol with a variety of commitments. I love that she turns it in to me at 11:pm each night,If I have to ask for it it gets taken away the next day and it never comes to the dinner table or sunday church. She will never have excess to the internet or be able to send or receive pictures on her cell.And sometimes her cute pink phone goes with her younger brother to basketball practice.... It is also the one thing that she has been able NOT loose for more then 1 year. I see all the negative you speak of and it was a little scary to let go and give her that responsibility but for us it has worked for the positive... ok let the cell phone bashing continue...

Natalie said...

I love Babbo! I'm glad I'm not the only one that loves that place! MMmmmm! Yummy!

I hate cell phones. I didn't have one until I paid for it myself... same with a car. I feel bad for my kids because that's going to be the rule here. No giveaways! :)

Anonymous said...

i'll buy you one jakie....what color do you want??? :)
i agree how these hand held tech devices pull kids into another world. it is not good for them. it drives barry crazy when he is at young mens on wed. nights and the ym have their ipods and they're texting anyone and everyone. rrrr!!! i thought jacob was sad because dave was getting sent to iraq. (the picture at the restaurant with dave in uniform in background) jacob you're so studly. you don't need a cell phone to make you cool!!!
ciao ciao!!!

Melanie said...

I thought the same thing w/Dave in the background.

Jeff and I didn't get cell phones until we were done with dental school - and we're 30 years old. Maybe that's a good age to start . . ??? Poor Courtney.

Darling pictures by the way!