i can't help myself

woo-Hoo!

(click on image to enlarge)
I am off to San diego for my photography workshop. Wish me Luck! (Here is so more goodness from Quincy. My girls are such handy models.

More on Illinois, but oh so much more to come!

Our last few days in illinois were rainy, and snowy. It was so fun to cozy by the fireplace and read, especially when you have a hostess that makes incredible breakfasts like this below. It really is like heaven at my sisters.

self portrait

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I had to turn in a self portrait for the workshop I am attending this weekend. I didn't really take this but I choreagraphed it. Can I count that? I was teaching my sister Gloria how to take portraits. I made her take tons. She did a great job! Thanks Glor!

picture of the day

click on picture to enlarge, it is way better bigger. I am working alot lately on editing and learning all of the techniques that I want to learn. Here is an example of a photo with some new techniques applied. I am working on how to put bigger pictures on blogger, so you don't have to click it to see it larger. Anyway. I am very excited. This is from last week in Quincy. I told you they have cool brick everywhere. Remember that I promised Leah that I would do a photoshoot of her while there. So here is one from our shoot together. I have lots more to share, just spending alot of time learning new things before I spend the time to edit. Also, I am attending a workshop in San Diego next weekend with Brianna Graham, and I have alot to do to prepare for it. Also, I wanted to put this on for Darla who you may recall was our tour guide and teacher at the art museum. She showed me paintings that are a study of white on white. I was intrigued and wanted to try it my self using my medium of photography. What do you think Darla?

and P.S. aren't Leah's natural curls adorable!!! Whenver her sisters give her a makeover they straighten her hair, but it is never as cute as her sweet curls.

Picture of the day

Hello, I have returned from a most refreshing and wonderful trip to my sister's house in Illinois. I have so many wonderful photos to share. We are so lacking in brick and old architecture here in sunny AZ. This photo above is from a photo shoot that I did while there of my sister's friends and family. I am so tired, but I had to put on at least one. I love love this picture. Can't decide whether I like the color or black and white (with a little sepia) better. I can't wait to share more. If you think they are beautiful... wait until you see their children.

Realizing a Dream!

Rebecca loves horses. It is her biggest compliment to say that she loves you more than horses. Riding a horse is top on her list of things to do any day or any time. Well, recently we found a place that they give lessons right by our house. These pictures are from her first lesson. Look at the joy on her face. She absolutely couldn't be happier. Owning horses and riding them all the time is her life ambition ( and being a MOM & veterinarian). Her second lesson was just this past saturday morning. I wish I brought my camera. She looked so cute. Her teacher is so excited about her. She says she is a natural and alot in part because she has such strength and balance from doing ballet. She had to ride around up out of the seat with her arms out in a T and feet flexed in the stirrups, just holding on with her legs. She did awesome. Her teacher asked if she could have longer lessons and that she would be trotting real soon. Rebecca was beside herself with joy! and I will add new enthusiasm to do well in ballet (so she can be better at horseback riding). It was the best day on Saturday, just spending time with each of my kids talking with them about their futures and what they love. Helping them to reach their goals and dreams makes me so so happy!!! Next I will share some on Jacob. But it will be awhile. We are off to Illinois to my sisters at 4am tomorrow morning. Yikes. I can't wait to re-explore Nauvoo. Jacob and RAchel get to go to the temple and do baptisms, how cool. I want to go and see liberty jail, and Adam- Ondi -Ahman, and teach my kids all about what is going to happen there. We are going right now because my sister's son Dallen is getting baptized and he really loves his Uncle Dave. He is a serious guy like him. He asked Dave to speak at his baptism. So cute. The kids can't wait to be with their cousins. fun fun. Lots to share when I get back I am sure. Happy Spring Break!

horses really are beautiful animals.

Weekend fun!

I took these pictures a couple of weeks ago, but it is an activity that happens very often at our house, and usually on the weekends. Dave and I were leaving on a date and Rachel was babysitting and as I was leaving I had to take these first three pictures. The rest I found on my camera when I got home. Rachel had done their make-up as well and took pictures of the girls. I think she did a pretty good job. How fun to have four girls. They have so much fun together.

this morning, I want a baby

It all started with this scrapbook layout by Jamie waters.

then my sister has to torture me with making so many incredible baby items. I need a baby to use them on.

and thanks jen for giving me this outfit that I love so much and stare at every day wishing I had a little girl to put it on. Let me explain. Jenn was packing away baby clothes and she knew I would love this because it says "delicious" , and I love to describe babies as being delicious and yummy. So I only have one problem. No baby and no hope of one. Dave really feels we are done with that phase of our life, and says I will always have these feelings and you have to stop sometime. Do I keep begging, or just live my happy little life. I am perfectly happy and busy, but oooh a yummy yummy baby to cozy. Thinking of all the other hard things a yummy baby entails keeps me ok with the idea. Must I really move on?

oooh baby!

The Hallelujah song.... ok. I loooooved it (said in my best simon voice). Every time I see this kid, I think of John Travolta. Does anyone else notice this? I think he looks so much like him, but cuter in my opinion. I love his expressions when he is singing and his phrasing, like Paula said. I think he has the cutest personality too. I really like so many of the guys this year and really only Brooke for the girls. I must admit I am a sucker though for just the guitar sound and someone singing with their heart. I think Archuletta is awesome. I watched him sing the dreamer song ten times. What a gift. and for us older girls I'm thinkin the australian ain't bad. I really look forward with great anticipation for american idol every week. I am worse than the kids. Even Dave loves it, but only to watch simon be cruelly honest. He loves simon, and his comments. I do too, I admit. I guess that is why I married Dave. ha. Leah was cracking me up last night. She is so serious, and of course that is when she is the funniest. After one of the girls sang her comment was, "I just wanted more from her vocals." She was totally in earnest. That girl. Anyway, off to bed. I have worked out every day this week, but I have indulged in girl scout cookies. I just want to support a good cause. Oh, those samoas, bestill my heart.

New Shoot up.

I miss baby snuggles like this. I love how their noses fit so perfectly together. You can find more here.

Goal Tomorrow

First the quote that inspired the goal.
"So many of us make a great fuss of matters of small consequence. We are so easily offended..... I plead with you to control your tempers, to put a smile upon your faces, which will erase anger; speak out with words of love and peace, appreciation, and respect. If you will do this, your lives will be without regret. Your marriages and family relationships will be preserved. You will be much happier. You will do greater good. You will feel a sense of peace that will be wonderful."-Gordon B. Hinkley
I have a habit. I often react too quickly and make a fuss out of small matters. Not because I am so upset but because it is a habit, and I tend to be too dramatic. I need to stop that. I want my home to always be a peaceful happy place. Of course the kids blow me off when I act crazy. They know I am not really angry, just irritated, but it does rob us of that sweet feeling that exists when we all talk kindly and are patient. So that is tomorrows goal. Off to bed. I have a a goal to go to bed by 10:30 every night. I have so many fun pictures to share, but I have to take the time to edit them first and I need to finish a photo shoot first. Tomorrow I will do it because I will feel so rested from going to bed early. smile.

80's flashback.

Dave and I went to an 80's party this weekend for my neighbor's 40th birthday. It was pretty fun picking out these hot outfits at Goodwill for the event. Sorry, I just wansn't willing to get a perm for the occasion but I did some serious ratting to make it as big as possible. I look like a football player with those huge shoulder pads! And how do you like Don Johnson? Dave had to not get a haircut for awhile and Ryan Kidd actually made a comment about his hair being "full bodied" at church the next day. You know it's bad when a guy comments to another guy at church about his hair. ha ha. I thought it would be hysterrical to go dressed like this to my 20 year reunion. That was.. until I saw this picture. I look seriously scary. I think it pretty brave to even put this on the world wide web. ha. So enjoy a laugh on me!

Family field TriP

(I thought this sign outside the museum was quite appropriate for a family shot!) Our field trip to the Phoenix art Museum was absolutely fabulous. It actually filled me with joy! I left feeling so enriched and uplifted. In large part because of my friend Darla who taught us. She is so passionate about art, and she just glows when she talks about it. She would lead us from painting to painting telling us the stories behind them, the artist's story as well, the tricks the artists uses to draw our attention to the story he wants to tell in the picture. The history we learn, the techniques. We were all so drawn in and captivated. The kids were as excited as I was. Darla, you have a gift. I can't wait to go back and take Dave. FYI, if you want a free date night the first friday night from 6-10pm it is free and there is a free tour at 6pm. I can't wait to learn more. Some painting just looking at them I wouldn't particularly like, but than when Darla explained about them I appreciated them so much more and actually enjoyed them. My eyes were really opened. So here are some pictures from our fabulous day. I wish I took some out on the patio where we enjoyed a fabulous organic and healthy lunch on a perfect arizona day. Wow. What a neat day. We came home exhausted, but we all had alot to share with Dave. I loved how interested Jacob was, and all of the questions that he asked Darla. I was surprised to hear that the Asian scroll paintings were his favorite. Walking in.... the anticipation and excitement of a day away from school. Jacob's belt buckle that he is so proud of and loves. yes, he is getting that age. Loving the little things that make him different and stand out. It reads on it to rub it for luck. Of course, only Jacob is allowed to, mom's orders. ha ha. This is Darla. I told you she glows when she talks about art. It is easy to love it too when she teaches you about it with such enthusiam.
two of the paintings that we learned alot about and loved. It is a wonderful thing to be a part of filling a child's brain with knowledge and light.

Now for the hands on part of our day. They have a children's area where the kids can touch things (absolutely no touching anywhere else). So I don't reccommend taking small children who like to touch everything. You are watched like a hawk in there. Seriously. The girls were so cute. They got so into it! This is the painting that they were sketching

I love Lizzie's expression as she looks up. She wants to be an artist when she grows up.

This is Lizzie's favorite thing to write. When I was reading from her school journal she brought home, they were asked what makes them happy. She wrote her Mom. Made me tear up. I will have to say that this was the best piece of art I saw all day. Smile. And I know the artist personally and that makes it all the more meaningful and priceless! smile

love being a mom

Being a mom is all I ever wanted. I wanted a comfortable and cozy home, a hardworking and God fearing husband, and children to love and teach. I have been blessed with all of those things and so much more. It is so much harder than I ever thought possible. It has pushed me to the limits of my abilities. It has painfully stretched me to grow wiser, in a very humbling way. But I wouldn't change it for the world. The family is God's way to help us become like Him, and I believe that with all my heart. All I need to do to become like God is be a mother and a wife. To do those two things well takes developement of every Godlike characteristic. Again, did I say it was easy? Sometimes I want to run and hide and never come back. But the truth is.... real joy in life comes through the family relationships. I also love the quote "happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of Jesus Christ." Nothing could be truer than this. Dave and I have always struggled with some issues in our marriage. With the new year I wanted to work on some of those struggles. As always pride is the main reason that most things aren't resolved. I really really really want a marriage like Gordon and Marge (Hinkley-smile). I need to put up a big picture of the two of them where I can see it every day. I want that so bad. So, I decided that I want to get up early every morning and read scriptures and pray together. We also read a section of one of my favorite relationship books "The seven levels of intimacy" (it is so awesome! I highly reccommend it!) Can I tell you that our marriage has improved. Alot of pride has been removed, and replaced with more consideration and kindness. Another thing that I know has saved us many a time is going to the temple together at least once a month. Nothing softens your heart more, and gives you that eternal perspective back, and reminds you of who you are and what you want most, what true joy is and where it is found. So a big thanks to my incredible husband, who really is the one who is making this goal happen. As you know, I am not a morning person. He has been the one to wake me up every morning and make sure it always happens. More often than not he has to do all the reading. My voice and eyes don't even work right when I wake up. Pitiful I know. That is why I married Dave. He is Mr. Discipline. I need that for my undisciplined self. He is so steady and sure. How wonderful that is. I love him so much. Is our marriage perfect? Of course not, we aren't perfect. But we have the same goals in life. So girls, if you aren't married yet, here is a piece of advice. YOU HAVE TO MARRY SOMEONE WITH THE SAME GOALS AS YOU! Which is why we are taught at church to only marry someone who is a member of the church and worthy to take you to the temple. Not because members of our church are better people, but because than you will have similar goals. Without that, as I have witnessed, you will impose upon yourself alot of frustration and misery. Marriage is hard. Being one in purpose is crucial. Every choice you make in life is based upon your knowledge of who you are, where you came from, where you want to go. Anyway, as always, off I go a rambling. I started out saying that I love being a mom. The kids have half day today and I decided to take them out of school and go on a field trip. My lovely friend Darla is a docent at the Phoenix art museum and has agreed to give us a private tour. I am so excited. I have been wanting to do this for awhile. So I will be having a wonderful day with my kids learning and enjoying beauty today. More later on all the things I love about being a mom. Off on another adventure.

My new best friend

I don't know why but this little girl really likes me. I only know because her mom tells me so. She doesn't talk to me really. But apparently she talks to her mom about me all the time. She calls me Sister AVes. The expression above is usually the one I get. But her mom says that if she makes eye contact with you she likes you. ha ha. I'll take it. Little miss Lennon came along on a photo shoot with me, and I snuck in a few shots of her. I think you are wonderful too Lennon! I'll put some more up on my photography website here

Barkers

More photos are up on my photography website. I had alot of fun with these. The one above I edited for a vintage feel, and added a texture to it. You can click on it to enlarge and see more closely. Oh I love photoshop. I learn more every day.
Right now I am starving and it is almost one a.m. I am back to work on losing weight. Did I tell you I went on vacation from that for awhile. ha ha. I say over and over in my mind a hundred times a day, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." If you say it enough you really do start to believe it. ha ha. Actually it is true. I was so inspired this past week by the successes of the other ladies in my weightloss support group. To see how their lives have changed and their self image, not from weightloss necessarily but from positive thinking. Our group is so awesome and so fun. We really support one another and cheer each other on in life. Thank you my dear sisters. How wonderful to have friends who watch over and care for you.

soft and yummy babies...

is there anything better?! Spent today doing alot of editing. Can't wait to share lots more tomorrow when I am done. Goodnight!

on a lighter note

These are a couple of the little luxuries of life that I love. Sometimes I just have to splurge. Above is the greatest toilet paper on earth. It even has aloe in it. Below are crisco sticks. The greatest invention ever for a girl that loves to make chocolate chip cookies, but hates cleaning up a crisco mess. Again, it comes down to this pampering business that I am so into. Ok ok, you can call it spoiled. Is it wrong to want to be spoiled? Growing up the budget was really tight on food and household, so my parents could afford some extras for their kids like violin, and piano lessons. Which means the cheapest hardest toilet paper, the worst tasting toothpaste, and gross frozen orange juice. Not to say that I was unhappy about it. I was happy as a lark! You don't need name brands to be happy. But sheesh, it is a good thing that I didn't know what I was missing. I don't think I can ever go back after drinking Tropicana freshly squeezed orange juice. It is like heaven! My upbringing has just given me a greater appreciation for the little luxuries in life. I relish every one with such enthusiam that it makes me glad that I didn't always have them and take them for granted. If I could pick one word that describes my life it is Comfort. It makes me feel so safe and happy and grateful. It is the first thing I pray about and thank Heavenly Father for every night...that I am safe in a cozy bed, in a cozy house, with my cozy family. So many in this world suffer for the basic necessites of life. How blessed and grateful I am to have all that I need and more. I am so very very grateful, and hope that I am always found giving whatever I have to those in need. I am pretty sure I begged Heavenly Father to not come down to earth until they had invented air conditioning, and other modern conveniences. Oh man, I am spoiled aren't I?
p.s. fyi this kind of toilet paper I have only found at Walmart. The crisco sticks are cheapest there too.

the Lucille bluth wink

You know what I love about the women in my family? We aren't afraid to pamper ourselves. We don't sit around and pout that our husband won't pamper us, we just get to work pampering ourselves. It is quite satisfying if you haven't tried it. While we all love to serve others, and are very devout in our conviction that loving and serving others is the most important thing we can do in this life. We don't believe in leaving ourselves out. ha ha. We don't get caught up in the trap that some women do of feeling guilty to spoil ourselves. What a talent, I know. ha ha. I am being serious in part. I do really really feel it is important to take time for yourself and make yourself pretty, and be the best you can be. Than you have the confidence and mental and emotional energy to give back to others. Does that make sense? I know it does to my sisters. I am not so sure about my dad. ha ha. I think he still thinks that just the men should do that. ha ha (gotcha Dad! Let's see if this gets a comment out of you. I am sure something about my being in my robe at 9am with hot chocolate and not out pulling weeds. ha) So to explain the picture above..this is my youngest sister Nicole on Christmas morning. So far in her family it consists of just her and her husband. Yet it became my Dad's big joke that almost every single present under the tree was for her and tyler (but mostly her). There sure were alot to her from Tyler and Santa, and neither had any idea what they were. ha ha. So out came the lotions, the cremes, the dvd's the cute shirts. With each came new expressions of joy and excitement from Nicole. Of course, I understood. If you want to feel pampered at Christmas, sometimes you have to take it into your own hands. I have done it myself, and it feels every bit as good. Hence, the Lucille Bluth wink (you know what I mean if you have seen arrested developement) from Nicole to me as she opened yet another splendid gift. I totally get it Nicole. And if you know me or my sisters you know that we are always very happy because we know how to keep ourselves happy, and that in turn makes our husbands and our children very happy. My sisters and I did get this from someone you know. We didn't come up with it ourselves. For years our joke to our mom was one of her favorite phrases, "for once in my life I am going to be selfish." Of course it was a joke because she always said it. So as they say the next generation always gets better. We don't feel guilty about it and make excuses or feel that it only needs to be once in our life. We should always be doing things for ourselves as well as doing for all who come into our life. So ladies, let go of the guilt already. Why don't you just run out and get yourself a pedicure, guilt free. You will still be a good mom and wife if you take time for yourself. I promise.